A.Mac's Journal

10:08pm: Who will save me from all I'm up against out in this world?

Baby, baby, baby
When all your love is gone,
Who will save me
From all I'm up against out in this world?
Maybe, maybe, maybe
You'll find something that's enough to keep you,
But if the bright lights don't receive you,
You should turn yourself around and come on home
<33333 :o)


So this weekend wasn't bad. Nothing to really complain about.
Friday I was with my love Sam Hill<3. I loovveee herrrr<3.
And then on Saturday I smoked it up with my cousins Melissa and Billy.
I've never been so high in my whole life. Honestly. It was lovely.
Then we went to eat at Papa Gino's.
Afterwards I went and met up with Mia and we smoked in her car,
before we went into this party at some kid Eddie's house.
He ended up flippin' a shit and kicking everyone out.
It was one of the rather stranger experiences.
I worked Sunday and went to the gym.
And today I went to school and the gym and dance.
And today is the 11 year anniversary
of me and Vick being best friends!
:D LOVE YOU SOSOSO MUCH<333.
And now I have to take a shower.
And do craaazyyy amounts of homework.
Goodnight cuties!




laahhvve<3!

11:03pm: If I lose you; I don't know..... =/
Fuck guys. I hate Kevin. UGH. Just.... fuck guys, honestly. I've had enough.

It's funny because ... I was just reading old entries. And I came across one that I wrote [obviously] a while ago. It talked about how I was so excited to meet Ethan and blahblahblah. But now I've found out we're never gonna meet. Because he doesn't want to. And we argued last night and like.. I don't know. I was being such a bitch. And I apologized. I was in a shitty mood. But I don't think he accepted my apology =/. And it sucks. So much. Because I honestly consider him one of my best friends. Despite the 'I've never met you' factor. I tell him literally everything. I hold nothing back with him. Like... I appreciate his "friendship" and his advice so much. And I trust him more than anyone. Like... losing him as a friend would suck. But sometimes I feel like he really wouldn't care if he lost me as a friend. Meh... I don't know. That's just how I feel. I'm not jumping to conclusions ... it's just what I really believe.

Other than that.. the only news I have is that that stupid bitch I hit is trying to file a 'personal injury claim'. Personal injury my fucking ass. That's absolute bullshit. She was fucking outta the car like... laughing and giggling with her friends. Fuck you. Dumbass cunt.

Oh. And I'm on a diet.
And I've been to the gym 3 days in a row.




But ... to end things on a good note, tomorrow begins the weekend<3.
Goodnight everyone.




i love you .....

6:12pm: Her big dreams that are never in vain, never change
Sooo.. this weekend was cute. Hung out with the girls at Steph's. Slept at Zac's. Worked. Watched a million episodes of Sex & The City. Because I absolutely love it. Then today in school was lame. I was so tired. I basically fell asleep in AlgII. That class is a useless joke to me anyway. I've basically given up for the rest of the year for that class. Mmmm.. whatever. I'm okay with it. But tomorrow I'm hanging out with Kevin. :) And I have something funny to tell him. So I'm excited. Plus.. my bracelet broke again :(. Hopefully he'll fix it for me. :) But I'm happy to see him for other than just those reasons. Of course. Well.. this is going to be short. Because I have to go eat my pasta<3. Then go to dance. So this is it.


:) Bye loves<3



P.S. I got my nails done today. And they're blue-ish-green. And I'm in love with them. :)

10:23pm: 'You're just a fuck-up,' she said.
I wish I were in a better mood. Tonight was night filled with Sprite Zero and rather interesting, mind-expanding episodes of Sex & The City. I'm about to watch my 6th and final episode of the night and then finally go to sleep. I'm really exhausted. It's really been a rough night. I think myself crazy. It's the nights I spend alone that are the worst for me. Some people say that sometimes they need a night to themselves. I just... I guess I'm just not one of those people. Yah know... because when I'm alone, I think. And when I think... I kind of... internally hurt myself. I think things that are more than likely not true. But I start to think them over, and over, and over again.. and sometimes.. just sometimes.. I don't know, in my mind they sort of become true. Like.. instead of me just thinking them in the back of my mind.. I start to just 'know' they're reality. I wish I didn't do this. I can't stop it. I wish it was somewhat explainable. Like.. if I said it to someone they'd somehow understand the message I'm trying to convey. Everything's a mess to me, yet at the same time, everything sort of ... makes sense right now. It's a weird feeling. Probably the most unexplainable of all. I think that once the weekend is over maybe things will start to brighten up. I'm really not doing much this weekend. I did nothing tonight because my dad wouldn't let me drive. It's really weird, I think. Because .. if you think about it .. how am I going to learn to drive in this weather, if I'm not allowed to? Maybe you understand. Maybe you don't. Maybe I'm being stupid. I tend to be that every now and again. I feel like right now maybe I'm being a little too open for a public journal. But then again... I am who I am. I don't care what you think of the way I am and the way I think and what I do. I'm Amanda. It'd be nice to meet me. And that's what I truly think. But I also think that I just want this weekend to be over. I could tell you why. But I think I won't. Sometimes I like leaving people not knowing what I'm thinking, after I've already told them just about everything else that I'm thinking. And for my last thought I just think I'd like to say that I know at this moment I'm not in the best of moods, but I know in the back of my mind... that maybe things'll work out this time. That maybe, just maybe, I will not be disappointed.



And with that I say,
here's to Sex & The City,
and a good night's sleep.

8:09pm: Today was a good day<3.
This was actually the most amazing weekend of my life. Honestly. Laser Quest was the shit<3. And then last night was almost perfect. Me, Hill, & Vick went to Zac's house. And John, Matt, and Kevin were there. :) And we hung out. We played pool for a little. I'm terrible at it. Even though I have a pool table at my house. Then like.. I don't even know the boys went sliding down Zac's driveway because it's alllllll ice. Then I don't even know.. Zac, John, Hill, & Vick were hiding in Zac's brothers' mini-van. And none of us knew where they were. Not that I went looking.. but Matt did. Walked right by the van and didn't even see 'em. Then Zac called me and told me to go into the garage and bring no one with me. So I went down there and they let me in the van. We sat in there and watched Kevin and Matt walk by. But then Kevin figured us out. Then we just kinda hung out. And Kevin gave me his sweatshirt :). AAAAAND my bracelet broke when I was there.. and he fixed it! :) Then today I worked with a buncha the weirdos I work with. Jeff Noyes not included. Though I bet he was the first person you thought of when you read "weirdos I work with". BAHA. I'm funny :) <33.


So then tomorrow's school.
And I have Spanish homework.
SOOOOOO. I'm gonna go do that!


goodnight lovies :o).

1:19pm: "And you were quiet, this routine riot
was all but practical to me
and if we see it, why can't we beat it
can we let eachother be?"

12:54am: Everything Will Be Wonderful Someday.
I'm going to bed shortly, but I just wanted to write about my night real fast. It was absolutely amazing. We went to laser quest and I sucked at it so bad. But that's the fun of it. It was me, Janelle, Vick, Nikkol, Hill, Zac, Crave, Michele, Trillz, & Chicken. Me & Janelle chased some kid code-named Earl around 'cause he kept popping up outta nowhere and shooting us. That was the first game. Then the second game we kept chasing Earl and then we were in the corner and kept shooting at these two kids code-named Sassy Cat & Grandmother. They were cute, definitely. Though Grandma over there was wickeddddd skinny. He was still cute. And then Vick got SassyCat's number for Janelle. We found out his real name is Alex. Thankfully not Sassy Cat. Because to tell you the truth... that would just be plain weird. Well, other than that I'm gonna go read more of Nicole Richie's book and listen to music while I fall asleep. <3.


I only have now one thing left to say;
i don't except you to deeply care about me;
i just hoped you'd show you'd care if i was alive or dead

4:43pm: The Words I Wish You Never Meant.
"you woke up, in pieces
from making these changes"


HAPPY BIRTHDAY SAMANTHA LEE HILL!
i looovvvveeee you! vjc foreverrrr<3 :o)



School was okay today. Nothing special. I'm skeptical about how I did on that Spanish test I had this morning. I guess I'll find out on Monday. I want to know how well I did on my Science Fair Exhibition Project. Me & Shay knocked it out. Our poster was adorable to say the least. I'm like... almost done reading 'The Truth About Diamonds' by Nicole Richie. It's actually really good so far. Hopefully it doesn't have a bad ending. I'd get sad. Tonight me & a buncha people are going to Laser Quest for Hill's birthday. I'm pumped. It'll be fun. Because I'm so very terrible at it. :] I have to go get Miss Hill a present pretty soon. Once I'm down putting all my clothes away. I have so much clothes. Butttt... tomorrow I'm working 7-12. Then I have to come home and more than likely continue putting my room back together. It's still sort of in shambles. But I'm trying to get it together. It's hard when you go to school and work most of your life. And it's just that much more unbearable when you have homework ontop of it. Lovely. Absolutely fabulous. I'm going to Boston tomorrow with Mia, though. So I'm pumped about that. I haven't hung out with her in forever :[. And I absolutely love Boston so I'm looking forward to going there. Sundays I just sleep and do homework and work. So that's really my life. I'm just happy it's the weekend. More than anything that's why I'm happy right now, haha.



Well, peace out cuties♥.

10:01pm: I'm content to drown.
"and i wish i could wait, till i see you shaking
wish i could wait to pull out of this one fast
wish i could wait till i taste your flavour
and maybe i can savour every last drop"


So lately things have been okay, I guess. I really can't complain except for one thing. I don't want to mention it really though 'cause chances are that the one thing that isn't good is probably reading this right now. I don't know... things are confusing and upsetting and I feel like this has all been useless. I guess if I explained myself things would make more sense. But I'm not going to do that. So, suffer.

Work the past 2 nights has been fun. I don't know, weird really but... Wednesday night I talked to two people for most of the night. One of which who I think is wicked cute. :) He's nothing like me but that's okay. He's still cute. Tonight I worked with Leah for a lot of the time. MB friggin' biff. And then we got to leave at 7:45. So basically it was dah bahmb. I was so pumped :).

I have a freakin' spanish test tomorrow. I'm kinda nervous about it. Oh... and so I guess there was like.. a gun threat in the girls bathroom today. Friggin' ... PHS is absolutely SWEET. Not really though. Pretty lameskiiii. I don't know... we'll probably be evacuated or some business. Then eventually I'm sure someone will get arrested and it'll all be wonderful. The friggin' joys of PHS... they never truly end, do they?



Well I guess that's really it. The only thing I have to say is that;
KEVIN. I absolutely adore you. Thanks for always being there and putting a smile on my face. You mean a lot to me kiddo. All-all-always. :o)

9:21pm: Say you won't care...
Today was interesting. School was okay I guess. It's never anything amazing. My classes are so lame.


Period 1; Spanish 4 Honors - Mrs. Sullivan - with Kendra and Rachel
Period 2; English 11 CP1 - Ms. Farrell <3! - with Jaclyn and Mel
Period 3; Sem1; Compostion - Mr. Sullivan - umm.. no one...
Period 3; Sem2; Creative Writing - Mrs. Catron! - with Rich Grillo?!
Period 4; History Honors - Mr. Ingrao - with Kendra, Amanda, & Molly
Period 5; Ecology - Ms. Freedman - with Shayna
Period 6; Sem1; Journalism - Ms. Farrell <3! - I mainly like everyone
Period 6; Sem2; hopefully switching into a study hall or something
Period 7; Alg 2 - Ms. Skerry - with Sam, Ariel, and some other kids


So I hate my composition class more than I've ever hated anything in all of my lifetime. The teacher is an idiot. Like.. legit a dumbass. I can't take him. And the worst part is he thinks I like him. On my first essay he wrote like.. "GREAT START! I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOUR FUTURE WORK!!" I was like.. uh you're weird stfu. Then there's the boy behind me. Dear goodness don't even get me started. I wanna sock him one right in the nose. We have like.. a journal and everyday for the first 10 minutes of class we're supposed to write in it. ANYTHING WE WANT, MIND YOU. And he like.. doesn't do it. Honestly.. is that too much to ask for? No. No. Not at fucking all. And the worst part of it is.. the part that makes me go crazy.. is the fact that he think he's wicked badass for it. UMMM... NOOOOO. Sorry to break it to you PAL.. but you're not a badass... YOU'RE JUST FUCKING RETARDED. Honestly. "Yeah hi I'm Joe Ridiculous and I failed composition!" WOO BADASS! NO DUMBASS. Oh dear god, I can't even take it at all. Plus the fact that there's a bunch of kids who think they're halirious. Well, one main one. But still. They all think they're comedians, when in reality they're not. They picked on this kid today for no reason. He was actually just sitting there minding his own business and they picked on him. I was ripshit. Honestly.. why do you feel the need to do that? Was he bothering you in anyway? I think not. Dear goodness, kill yourselves for the sake of like... humanity.


But today was interesting. I went to the varsity boys soccer game with Hill in Beverly. It was fun/intense. We're gonna go to more. Boys soccer is so much more interesting than girls. We got so confused leaving there though. Haha. Then we dropped off a present at Jay-Z's. Then we went to dinner. Then we went to Lynn and we were walking around Central Square [me, Sam, Angela] and some like, 23 year old asked for my number. He asked if I thought he was good looking. HAHA. How awkward. It was funny though and it makes for a pretty good story.



So I'm meeting Ethan sorta soon. Weirdly enough, I'm like.. wicked excited. Yeah I hate him for life, but I'm so excited, haha. I don't know what we'll do. I'll show him around like.. my life. I've become so much less shy over the years like.. because of work so I know it won't be a problem. It'll obviously be a little different for us.. but I'm excited to see the losaaaah. :]


That's all I got for now. But it was really long. I'm gonna go to bed because I have work in the morning at 10. Peace & love, cuties. :] <333

3:26pm: Wow.
It has been a hella long time since I've written in this thing. Summer's been good. Two weeks left. It hasn't been amazing, but good. Interesting. Different then other summers. Made a handful of new friends. They're mad cool. "Straight up." Haha. I just got back from New Hampshire about an hour ago and it was fun. Went with the fam and my best friend, Victoria Alexis. :] Willy was there. Made fun of him. Hadn't seen him for a good 2 years. I'm going to work tonight at 5. I didn't want to but I need the money pretty bad so, whatever. Haven't seen my lynn friends in forever. Maybe tomorrow? I don't know. I haven't seen Mimi DiFranco in a while eitherrrrr. Idiottttt. :] JK. But it is lame. And I haven't seen Abble in forever. Wow kinda dumb. But I'm gonna go get ready for work or something? Peace lovelies :].


looooovvvveee<3333:]

11:55pm: Oooh life.
I don't know what to feel right now. I feel mixed emotions and it keeps me up at night. Because I like this boy, and I make it completely obvious. I'm hoping he feels the same way but I can't tell, because boys are confusing. I feel like I need to tell him, but I'm the shyest little[yet not] girl you'll ever meet. I hide my feelings. I know this isn't a good quality but it's hard for me to fully open up to a person. I just can't do it most of the time. I feel like he needs to know, it needs to be put out there, but I don't want to ruin things of make things awkward if the feelings aren't mutual.


Lately I've been going absolutely crazy. I have a friend that is driving me absolutely nuts and I'm seriously considering dumping him/her off. I was thinking maybe it was me, but I asked another friend and they feel the same way. Lately I've been easily irritated and annoyed. I argue and yell a lot and that's not me at all. I don't know what it is. But it's mainly all at one person, so I guess it's not going to affect anyone else but I honestly can't help it because she bugs the shit out of me. And I'm not the only one who feels this way either, so I don't blame myself for it. I'm not the only one being driven absolutely crazy by this person.


I feel right now kinda super shitty. I have a cold and it's making me absolutely miserable. My brother is losing more and more hair and more and more weight and looking more and more like a cancer patient everyday and it really bothers me. My brother is honestly a hero to me. He's been through so much as a little 12 year old and not once does he complain. People should take lessons from him. 2 major brain surgeries, a broken femur.. which led to an illness in the hospital which caused him to not eat for a good 5 days and lose a lot of weight and throw up a lot, and now he has another tumor. He lost some eye sight in one of his eyes from the first tumor he had when he was 3. I feel like for him this is never ending because he has a tumor causing disorder. It sucks but he's tough<3 I love my little broooo.


I feel like I'm spilling my life out right now in this public entry. But I guess I don't really care because this is who I am. Well.. I guess it's who I am for now. I don't feel like I'll ever really know who I am. I change constantly. But I feel like a lot of people do. Or maybe they don't and it's just me? But either way right now I'm fairly content with my life. Which is pretty usual for me nowadays.


The only thing I'm not content about is this boy situation. But I hope to take care of it by the end of this month. I honestly... it's almost unbearable to keep bottled up. I need to say something before I just blurt it out...


And with that I'll end because it is 12:06 AM and I have to wash my face, brush my teeth, and go to sleep. School in the morning. Don't you just love 2 day weeks because of rain days? It's marvelous.

11:24pm: We're not wasting our lives.
So last night was the recital.
It was so fun♥ but the end was so sad.
I'm gonna miss those girls so much♥♥.
But it starts again sooner than I think.
Afterwards I went to dinner with Vick, Linds, & Trish.
It was ridiculous to say the least.


Then today I worked from 10-2.
Afterwards I went to find my mom in the store.
Because she was going food shopping.
But I found RACHELLLL! Who I haven't seen since August.
We talked for an hour while our moms shopped.
It was good to catch up. I missed her a loooot.
Then I came home, took a shower, & went out.
Me & Stephytee went to the Burlington Mall.
We went to the Rainforest Cafe.
And I bought clothes at Hollister, of course.
Now I'm home!


Tomorrow I work from 9-1.
Then some guy is coming over with a car!
For me to look at to buuuuy! I'm excited! :D
But that's all for now.
KBYEEEEEEEEEE! :]



♥loooveeeyouuuu.

4:15pm: ohyou.
Every single time I see you I start to feel this way
It makes me wonder if I'm ever gonna feel this way again
There's a picture that's hanging in the back of my head
I see it over and over

I want to hold you and love you in my arms and then
I want to need you 'cause I need to be with you 'til the end
Then I hear myself reply you've got to hold it in
This time tonight

If only I had the guts to feel this way
if only you'd look at me and want to stay
if only I'd take you in my arms and say
I won't go 'cause I need you

2:22pm: goddamn.
I've never met anyone who could
make me smile so much :) ♥♥♥♥

9:46pm: :) ♥♥♥♥
Soooo ... last night was Sarah's Sweet 16.
& It was fuuuuun. :) I really can't go into detail.
Not in this thing anyways.
'Cause SOMEONE may be reading it.
But it was fun and it made me pretty happy.
If you'd like details ask, I don't really care.
But if you know me you know why it would make me happy.
Haha. I'm mad cool. But that's it for that.

Tomorrow I have dance. I'm excited.
Second to last class though.. that's sad. :(
I'm gonna miss those girls a loooottttt.
MONDAY NIGHT BITCHES. GOTTA LOVE 'EM. <3 :)

Oh and as of today, 4.30.06 it has been
EXACTLY 10 years since me & Vick have been best friends.
4.30.96 until foreverrrrrrr. I love my best friend.


Aight that's all I got for now.
PPPPEEEEAAACCCEEE<3333 looveeyoouu♥

7:12pm: Kinda cool.
So there's this boy. & He's keeping something from me.


Ummm ... tonight I went out with Angela.
& We went to Mia's with a bunch of bitches.
& Did what we do best. Yah know.
It was fun slash funny. I love friends.
The last few days have been aggrivating..
but good. I think anyways.. I don't know.


Tomorrow's wicked booked.. kinda stinks.
I have to work, go shopping for a dress,
and then to a sweet sixteen birthday party.
I love sweet sixteen's though, they're so fun.


But now I should go to bed 'cause I have work at 10.
PPPPPEEEEEEAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCEEEEEEE <333333333 looveyouu.

9:49pm: No sleep 'til BROOKLYN!
Rich Grillo is the weirdest kid I've ever met in my entire life.
But he makes me laugh.


NYC was a lot of fun, actually. Toys R Us was the best part.
& Getting lost in Brooklyn. Being the only white people.
Looking back on that part makes me laugh a little. :]
It makes for a pretty good story to tell, I gotta say.
We went to Time Square & this wicked sick restuarant.
It was called Jekyll & Hyde's. Me & Kyley got hit on there.
In a way. It was rather interesting, to be honest.
But the restuarant was awesome; good choice by Stephytee.
On Sunday we went to a handful of vintage shops.
One was extremely sketchy. It appeared empty at first.
Then this little Chinese lady appears out of nowhere.
With white face makeup, blue painted on eyebrows, and some
random other like, blue-green lines of makeup on her face.
It was sketchy and awkward and weird and funny.


School today was all right. I like coming back from vacation.
I get to see my bitches again, it's cool.
Today was my sister's 21st birthday.
So we went out to dinner at Applebee's in Saugus.
And they sang Happy Birthday to her and it was funny.
But now I have to go wash my face & do history homework.
I actually hate history so much.. it's really boring.
Well.. most of it anyway. Not all of it though.
I'd go on but there's some things I can't say on here.
'Cause that person might read it, and that wouldn't be cool.
So until tomorrow .. or whenever I decide to write.


PEACE<3 looveeyouuu :]




/EDIT/
( this is me )

12:34am: HI!
I'm going to NYC until Sunday night.
With Stephytee, Kyley, & CHERYL.
Gimme a holla. 3605055. You know the area code.
Yeah that is the right number.
I have to use my mom's cell 'cause mine broke.
PEACE BABIEEESSS<33 :]

loveyou.

2:43pm: Aaron Carter... WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO YOUR PARTY!?!??!?
So last night was actually so much fun.
Me J-Mart & Stephytee went to the NS Mall.
I bought a shirt in American Eagle [obviously].
We just kinda looked around other than that.
Steph bought some stuff at Gadzooks.
I saw a kid I work with & avoided him.
Then we all came back to my house. <3
We listened to Aaron Carter & Hanson. LOL<3.
I absolutely love Aaron Carter. But I got sad.
'Cause I wasn't invited to the party.
And someone spilt juice on his mom's new cushion.
And uh ... he likes candy when it's wrapped in a sweater.
HAHAHAHAH. I loooveee itttttt. Makes my life.
But I actually love Hanson so mucccccch.
We played Super Nintendo, too. I suck at it.
Jill gets really into it. Yoshi.. Fire balls..
SHE'S CRAZY.
But yeah .. it was a lot of fun. FRIENDS<3
But now I'm going to work until 9. Ew.
Hopefully after work I'll go out.
I'm supposed to give Stephytee a call.
Hopefully people call me though, too.
'Cause I don't have any definite plans.
SOOOO ... gimme a holla if you're reading this.


PEACE<3 :]

11:43pm: Ohhhh vacaaaaaa.
Easter was yesterday.
It was pretty lame, all in all.
We ate ham and cake and called it a day.
Then I went to Vick's and we went for a walk.
And I slept over.
Today I worked for 7 friggin hours.
Goddddd. Shoot me in the forehead, please.
I desperately need a new goddamn job.
Market Basket is shit. Seriously.
WHY DO I DO ITTTTTTT!? Money.. obvs.
I was supposed to work 9-3.
Then Chris like, asked me to stay 'til 4.
So I was like.. ehh whatevvvv.
One more hour in hell won't kill me, right?
Then I came home and ate and went out.
And it was a pretty good night, all in all.
"Why would I use that when I can use
the yellow pages that are in my dictionary!?"
LOLLLLLLLLL. Most classic line of all time.


Tomorrow morning I'm hopefully going to hang out with maddddd cool bitches!
[Sam Ashley Gina Alyssa StephC & maybe/hopefully Becky]
I'm pretty much pumped! I hope it happeeeeens.
Then at night I'm hanging out with J-Maaaartttt<3!
I don't know whatsup for the rest of the week.
But I have to work 'til 9-ish on Wednesday&Thursday.
But hopefully I can go out when I get outta work.
I'll just havta ring up some of my bitches.
Then Friday I don't know what I'm doing.
Other than sleeping over Stephytee's house.
And Saturday and Sunday = NEEEEW YOOOORKKKK!!
With Stephytee, Kyley, and CHERYL.
I'm wickeddddd pumped!


Though I have so much on my mind right now.
I know that I over-think things way too much.
And I actually really don't like it.
But with all my free time at night....
What else is there for me to do?
I've been thinking about this one boy.
AAAAAAAAALLLLLL VACATION.
This one boy, and this one moment I had with him.
And how I'd kill for it to happen again.
Ew I sound so lame. I wish it wasn't true.
But I'm like that. I like a boy...
And it always lasts for a long time.
And I have ZERO confidence to tell him.
GAHD. I hate this a loooottttt.
I wish I could clear my mind.
But it's absolutely impossible for me to do.
HELPHELPHELP.

Ehhh... I'll write tomorrow.
<3

4:13pm: Umm.... ew.
So yesterday I got in a fight with my friend Kevin.
He sometimes actually makes me unbearably angryyyyy!
He got mad 'cause I have feelings for another boy.
And not him.
Is that seriously something to get mad at me for?
Yeah you can get sad.
But like.. mad at me? WTFFFFF!?
I'm sooo pissed.


Tonight I went to Boston with Stephy Tee.
We went to Fanueil Hall.
And got dinner at Zuma's [mad good].
And then we got ice cream.
And we went home.
It was fuuuuun.
Tomorrow is Easter.
It's gonna be boring.
None of my family is coming over.
Ehh.... whatevvvvvv.



♥

5:27pm: Firsties.
First entries in a new journal are always my favorites.
'Cause I can blab on for forever and a day about nothing.
Like right now I'm waiting for J-Mart to get home & call me.
She has a road lesson until 6. How fun. [I haaaaate those].
I can't believe I'm back to one of these. I have a cycle.
I make a new one, write in it everyday for a month & stop.
But I like those everydays for a month.. they're fun.
Even though I go on and on about absolutely nothing....

Maybe I can go on and on about something?
Like school.
Sophmore year is already almost coming to an end.
I can't believe it.
I don't want itttttt.
I don't want to be a junior.
I have to start getting serious.
About my grades... the classes I take.
I'm going to have to keep a good English grade.
I want to be a writer. I like to write.
I like to read too though.
So I'm taking a bunch of writing classes next year.
We've already started to schedule.
I don't want to graduate high school at all.
Leaving all my friends and like... everything I know.
It's just not appealing to me.
Especially since I'm amazingly shy.
To the frickin' max.
Though my friends don't know that...

Today I went to look for a car.
No luck. And I'm pissed.
I just want a dece car.
TOO MUCH TO ASK!? Nah....
I don't think so.

But anyways.
I'm still waiting for J-Mart[Jill] to get home.
And call meeeeeeee.
So I'll probs end this now.
Since I really don't have anything to say.
PPPPEEEEEAAAAACCCCCEEEEE!